central_librarylogs | Death is only a Heartbeat Away

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Death is only a Heartbeat Away

Who: Jace Herdondale, Alec Lightwood
What: Jace arrives in the library.
When: After being stabbed through the heart by Valentine, healed, but disoriented and ready to defend himself.
Where: Main hall near the information desk.
Warnings: Language?

"Help us."

Jace inhaled and coughed, rolling to his knees, one hand wrapped around the hilt of a short blade. The move was automatic, instinctual after years of training and fighting. A Shadowhunter who didn't react or act despite potential injuries was a dead Shadowhunter. But the lake was gone. Valentine was gone. Clary was gone. The sword that pierced his chest was gone. He even covered the imagined wound with his hand. No blood. No wound. No sword. But the pain wasn't gone despite having faded to a ghost like memory.

He was so disoriented that when he tried to stand he simply fell back to the floor, the blade still held firm. Slowly he pushed back up onto his knees and looked around. A desk. Books. Books everywhere. Shelves as high as the ceiling, several levels above.And then he was frantically searching his pockets, checking for his stele, his weapons, for injuries. After his fight with Sebastian and then finding Valentine-no, he was sure of it. Valentine had stabbed him through the heart with the sword.

So why the hell was he here and where was here?

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The pixies were a problem. They decided that Alec's too-long hair was fun to play with, catching it while he swatted carefully at them so that he didn't accidentally hurt them. The Cat had warned him not to harm them, just get them back in their book. Which meant they were free to dump sparkly stuff that made him sneeze all over him and to - his hand caught at the nape of his neck. Braid his hair? His hair should be too short to braid. It wasn't that long.

Maybe it was the perfect length for styling for someone pixie sized.

Magnus would find the situation hilarious.

Managing to get away from the pixies, Alec was considering another strategy when he felt something like a heavy blow to his chest. His heart seemed to skip a few beats as he staggered into main area. Dragging in a breath, vertigo caused his vision to swim briefly. It felt like he was going through the battle in Idris again. When Sebastian and then Valentine had...

No, Jace was safe. He knew Jace was safe. The bond was still there, faint but steady. Shaking his head, he tried to focus on the figure kneeling on the floor. No, he had to be hallucinating. He tried to speak but instead sneezed. If he saw the pixies again...

Finally catching his breath, he managed to say his parabatai's name. "Jace?"

Jace looked up at the sound of his name and felt as if he'd simultaneously been punched in the chest and been given the best gift. He forced himself steady and onto his feet, moving towards Alec, one arm already wrapping around his neck and shoulder, hugging him tightly.

The last he saw Alec had been too soon after Max's funeral. He never thought he'd see his parabatai again.

And then--when he trying to ask if Alec was safe, if he was injured, how he'd found him, where they were--Jace sneezed. And sneezed again. And again. Everytime he tried to catch his breath. Until he released Alec, but not the blade still held tight in his hand. He stood back with his free hand covering his nose and mouth and looking at Alec through watery eyes.

Jace. He was in the Library. Alec had hoped that his parabatai would eventually show up but he hadn't been sure if it would ever happen. If the Librarians asked one of them, then they both should answer, but that didn't mean that what Alec hoped for would be true. Jace had others to worry about now and...

And none of that mattered as his parabatai hugged him. For a few seconds, he closed his eyes, relieved that Jace was here. That he'd decided to come with Alec. Pulling away, he waited for Jace to speak, then barely got out of the range of Jace's first sneeze. Which led to another and another.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a tissue and offered it to Jace. Always the big brother ready for most emergencies. Gesturing at his parabatai, Alec moved away carefully so that he wasn't near his parabatai and shook out his hair, grumbling at the sparkling dust that fell around him. When he was sure it was gone, he brushed off his gear. "That's better. The braids can wait until later."

Jace took the tissue, wiping his eyes and then his nose, and passing it back to Alec. When he was sure he could speak without sneezing he chanced moving closer and placed his hand against Alec's chest, as if he couldn't believe Alec was there with him.

"What happened? How did you find me? Where are we?" He looked up and around again, the lake and Valentine still so fresh in his mind. "Is it over?" He looked at Alec and then suddenly touched his own chest. "Are we...did you?"

If they were both dead that would make more sense than anything else his mind could come up with right then. Did they lose? Did Alec die too?

Taking the tissue, he gave his parabatai a disgusted 'really, Jace?' look before stuffing it back in his pocket. By the Angel, it was like they were twelve again. Despite the strangeness of the situation and the lingering ache in his chest, Alec smiled at the thought.

Studying Jace, he tried to think of what question to answer first when his attention was caught but that half finished tumble of words. "Did I what? Are we..." He let the rest of the sentence linger unfinished, hoping that Jace would explain what exactly he meant.

Jace was so confused. They couldn't be dead. His heart was beating. Alec's heart was beating. He'd felt it against the palm of his hand. Felt his breath when he hugged him. They couldn't be dead. He reached out, grabbing the front of Alec's shirt, tasted bile at the back of his throat.

"I don't understand what's happening. Idris. Sebastian. Clary." Simon. Although he didn't say Simon's name. "Valentine. Tell me you stopped Valentine."

"Calm down, Jace." He didn't fight the hold on his shirt, but he was worried that something was wrong. There should have been some snarky comment about the tissue or the braids. Some sort of joke like the ones they'd shared before... Okay, maybe there shouldn't have been jokes, but there should have been snark. "We're safe. This place seems strange, but we're not in danger right now.

"Idris was months ago." Even if the faint ache that still lingered in his chest didn't make it seem that way. "The Angel stopped Valentine. Sebastian - Jonathan - is dead." Jace should know all this. "Clary's fine. The last time I saw her, you two were making out in the training room."

"No. No." That didn't make sense. Yes. He'd killed Sebastian. But what Angel? What was Alec talking about? "Months?"

No. This wasn't right. It couldn't have been months ago. He was just there. He was just there!

"Alec." His fingers tightened in Alec's shirt, he felt like he was going to be sick. The way he had in the cave with Sebastian when the demons came through and the smell had been beyond horrible. Except he could taste blood. Or the aftertaste of blood. It had been there, filling is mouth and nose. "I was there. I was there. With Valentine and Clary and he had the sword."

Automatically, he took Jace's hand from his chest and pulled him into a hug. They hadn't been close in months, had been avoiding it more than when Alec had still been in the closet, but he had to try to ground his parabatai. "Yes, it's been months.

"I know you were there." Holding his parabatai, he wasn't sure if he was imagining the ache in his chest or if it was real. The pain was still vivid, something that woke him up at night no matter how much he lied about the battle and how he'd been effected by Jace's death. Only one person knew and he'd promised to never tell. "I know what he did." It didn't make sense that Jace didn't know the rest but maybe arriving in the Library had confused him. "You're safe. We're all safe now."

It was dizzying how safe he felt suddenly. Alec's words, his hug, his warmth. Jace wanted to bury himself in Alec for as long as he was allowed. It was something he didn't are indulge himself in, not in thoughts or actions, until now.

"I was there." He repeated softly, holding onto Alec. "I was just there, Alec. And then I heard a voice saying help me and I woke up here." Somehow being this close to Alec steadied his heart and mind and he could feel him through the bond. Quiet at first. As if Alec were too far away. But getting closer. Close enough to ground him. Let him think more clearly for a moment. "I can still taste the blood."

Slowly, Alec realized what Jace said. Just there. He'd just been at the lake. He'd been with Valentine when he'd... Swallowing thickly, Alec ignored his own horror over what had happened, what Jace had to be going through to focus on his parabatai. Swearing in Indonesian, he held onto Jace tightly, trying to show him that he was there. They were safe. "I heard the voice too. It asked us to come here. I hoped that you'd be brought here too but I hadn't thought..."

Alec had assumed they'd be brought from the same time but no matter how unbelievable it seemed, they hadn't been. If Jace had been brought when Valentine had the Sword...

"That's what I felt." His voice shook slightly before he remembered he had to be strong for Jace. "I felt what he did when you arrived." For the second time, he'd felt it but Alec doubted that Jace was ready to hear that. "You're safe and you're whole. I'll take care of you. Whatever you need. I promise."

"I need to know I'm not crazy. Tell me I'm not...did I die? I can't remember anything after he-" Now was not the time to puke all over his parabatai, but every time he thought of what had just happened he felt as if someone had turned his entire world upside down.

It's not like he didn't know Valentine was a crazy murderous bastard. He just hadn't actually thought the man he'd called father would kill him so easily.

No. He needed to get over the shock of it. Deep breaths.

"I just need...I need to breathe."

Alec didn't want to answer. He wanted to protect his parabatai for as long as he could but it wasn't fair to Jace. He had to know, especially if he thought he was crazy because of those memories.

Slowly, he coaxed him down to sit beside him, not letting go of Jace but maneuvering them so that their backs were braced against the desk. It reminded Alec of when they were kids and he'd found Jace hiding in some dark corner of the Institute and Alec had clung to him until he finally began to accept that someone in the world cared.

Still hugging Jace, Alec kept rubbing his parabatai's back, keeping is breathing slow and steady so Jace had something to focus on. "You're not crazy." Taking one of Jace's hands, he placed it over his heart. "I'm right here. We're both here no matter what he did."

Jace closed his eyes, fought back the sobs trying to tear their way from his throat. Not crying was just as painful as crying. But Alec had been the only person who had ever truly seen him cry.

"I shouldn't be so surprised he'd kill his own son." It didn't matter Valentine wasn't his real father. He'd raised him. Despite knowing the truth he couldn't let go. "Tell me where we are. Give me something else to focus on. Please."

Only Alec could get him through this.

Holding Jace, he ignored how much it hurt to see his parabatai struggle through the grief and shock. This was something Alec had helped him through when they were boys, but Jace hadn't went through this after Valentine had killed him.

At least Alec hadn't seen it. Maybe Luke and Simon had seen this part of Jace's healing while everyone else had been pushed aside.

"He gave the Angel what he loved most." It had been the only way Alec kept from hating Valentine for what he'd done. He'd given the Angel his favorite son. "We're in a place called the Library. It's a world between worlds. Like something in those novels we used to read before..." Before everything changed between them but Alec didn't want to talk about that.

"Before we had to grow up. We're supposed to help protect it and the books. They asked us to come here and we said yes."

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Death is only a Heartbeat Away

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