"Alec." Sebastian gently pulled away from Alec and stood up. He looked down at Alec sitting there and then started to pace a bit because what he had to say was important and he had to choose his words and not make things worse for Alec. He wanted him to understand his side of this and make some things clear so Alec wouldn't look as if he wasn't sure what the right thing was for any of them.

He stopped and looked at Alec again.

"First. You can't make this decision for anyone other than yourself. Second. It would hurt me more if you said all these things to me and then walked away. I would understand because it would be stupid and selfish of me to expect you to or anyone to think of me... Magnus is...he's pretty amazing and I'm just..." He inhaled and straightened, refusing to continue that line of thought. "I would understand."

And then he started pacing and talking.

"When I met Jack he followed me around for weeks, not giving up even though I was rude and and did everything I could to make him go away. But I was scared." He stopped suddenly, taking quick deep breaths because this was hard. "There are only three people other than my parents who have really noticed I exist. And I know that's partly my fault. I gave up a long time ago. I didn't want to trust anyone or get hurt anymore. But only three people...have wanted me...and one was the worst bully I have ever met...but you and Jack....I can't walk away from you either, Alec. I won't. Not unless you tell me to. So...look at me, really look at me. Because I don't regret kissing you. And I don't want to be that person who wasted so much time running away from someone wonderful only to lose them completely. That is what I regret. More than anything. Look at me and tell me you don't want me to kiss you again."