Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark (
legacyofiron) wrote in
central_librarylogs2015-07-31 08:47 pm
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Entry tags:
Everyone Deserves a Second Chance
Who:Tony, Ward, & Steve [closed]
What: Second chances and talks are good for the soul, right?
When: After the Cinderella ball August 1st
Where: One of the atriums in the non-fiction section.
Warnings: Possible angst, tension and talks of second chances...
Notes:
In the last hour, over ten different astronomical patterns had slid through the black velvet sky over head. The atrium windows scrolled in Victorian architecture overhead and allowed the endless stardust littered sky to shine through like white hot beacons in the darkness. Even the low lights attached to pillars didn't dim the brightness of the spectacle. Walking through just once had drawn his attention. Another like this resided in the Fiction section, similar but not.
Tony felt more at home in non-fiction. And strangely 'native' sitting amongst open books of star charts and scrolled parchment he'd managed to buy from the Market Place. Steve must've wandered off into the darker portions of the Library... a patrol even. Tony stayed behind. After all... he didn't have a suit or a weapon worth mentioning. So he sat in the midst of mindless work testing a theory of where they might be.
After a while he realized, it was always dark outside the windows. The stars always shown... but if there was a sun it resided light years away. That wasn't just the night sky, it was space. And that realization had him leaning back away from the chart he was creating to simply lean back on his hands and stare at it. Funny... as a kid he might have actually been crazy to see this. Now? Maybe... he couldn't decide.
More so it gave him a chill that clawed it's way up his spine as he pictured war ships in an endless black landscape and the slow fall from space... Just not quite as horrifying as before.
What: Second chances and talks are good for the soul, right?
When: After the Cinderella ball August 1st
Where: One of the atriums in the non-fiction section.
Warnings: Possible angst, tension and talks of second chances...
Notes:
In the last hour, over ten different astronomical patterns had slid through the black velvet sky over head. The atrium windows scrolled in Victorian architecture overhead and allowed the endless stardust littered sky to shine through like white hot beacons in the darkness. Even the low lights attached to pillars didn't dim the brightness of the spectacle. Walking through just once had drawn his attention. Another like this resided in the Fiction section, similar but not.
Tony felt more at home in non-fiction. And strangely 'native' sitting amongst open books of star charts and scrolled parchment he'd managed to buy from the Market Place. Steve must've wandered off into the darker portions of the Library... a patrol even. Tony stayed behind. After all... he didn't have a suit or a weapon worth mentioning. So he sat in the midst of mindless work testing a theory of where they might be.
After a while he realized, it was always dark outside the windows. The stars always shown... but if there was a sun it resided light years away. That wasn't just the night sky, it was space. And that realization had him leaning back away from the chart he was creating to simply lean back on his hands and stare at it. Funny... as a kid he might have actually been crazy to see this. Now? Maybe... he couldn't decide.
More so it gave him a chill that clawed it's way up his spine as he pictured war ships in an endless black landscape and the slow fall from space... Just not quite as horrifying as before.
no subject
He doesn't sleep well, without Kara but he's trying. Trying for her sake. On nights like tonight however he will slip in and out, walk himself to exhaustion. He has things to do, people to hurt, monsters to maim and murder. In revenge of her, but she's here, alive, and she's ...happy.
His hand clenches into a fist, turning a corner to see Tony Stark staring at a bank of windows.
Iron man was always his favorite. Always. As a kid he'd preferred bucky barnes but stark industries - His grandfather's place on the committee that had indicted the other man was an embarrassment. Tony Stark had everything.
He was also an Avenger and therefore his enemy.
He dropped back, footsteps going silent - before - why not? What did he have to fear from him? Sticking his hands in his pockets he moved forward as quietly as a certain assassin tony stark might know by name.
"...What is it?"
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This place didn't condone violence in the Library itself. So, in a way he didn't feel the instant need to worry. Angling his head back to the sight overhead, he then shook his head. "I'm not that fond of space anymore."
Smiling just a little, he indicated the charts scattered around him. "After watching a while I realized it's never the same. And quite honestly, none of it matches what we've seen of the Milky Way Galaxy."
Shrugging, he arched a brow. "But I'm sure you don't care about that."
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But there's very little passion behind it. It reminds him of Kara's swirling eyes, her hands in his, "...It looks like a painting."
The look in the other man's eyes is tense and angry and dead - long dead and broken.
"...You see a lot of the Milky way?"
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All the angles and vectors rushed through his head before he pushed them away to regard the other. He could vaguely note the discomfort, but he never did a good job with reading emotions in others. He just knew something was not right.
"I memorized all the different sky quadrants for every season when I was a kid." Pulling the book he found about the Milky Way out, he tapped the page. "I actually thought when I was younger that I would build a space station." Oh. Howard loved that. He made sure that idea went away fast unless he had working proof it would happen.
"I built a satellite instead." He offered a slight smile. "Never had a fascination with space in your life?"
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He pauses, "Actually I wanted to be Jim Hawkins. But whenever I'd go camping we could see the stars."
He'd learned about it the hard way. At that something clenches in his chest and he turns.
"...You're Tony Stark."
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"Well, I do have a pretty recognizable face. Guess that means you're from at least a similar reality than me." Tony put on that patented media smile before it disappeared again as he looked up into the sky. Sky... more like space itself.
"So you know me. I don't believe I had the pleasure of learning your name."
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And he didn't have HYDRA. just Kara.
After a moment he extended his hand, "Grant Ward." brother of Christian Ward - who died in a suicide - murder with his parents, Grant ward - suspected HYDRA agent and traitor to his country. Grant Ward, monster.
His other hand clenched and he waited, waited while mentally balancing himself on the balls of his feet. He didn't want to kill him, but he would.
He didn't want to kill anyone, but he would.
no subject
In any case, he reached out and took the man's hand. If he was here... that meant whatever he came from, he had potential. If he was willing to help, Tony realized he needed to be willing to work with others here. He kind of picked that one up from constant arguments in the beginning with Steve.
"Nice to meet you. Do you prefer first of last name?"
Smiling just a little, he firmly shook his hand. "Sorry I didn't get up... kind of rude of me..." He grinned just a little and managed to shove some things out of the way. "But if you don't mind crashing on the floor, you're free to join me. I guess my brain just didn't want to accept that we are really... 'not in Kansas anymore'."
no subject
Ward is watching. Watching for telltale signs, "...Any of your uh - friends here? From SHIELD? or the Avengers?"
There's danger in his look before he kneels and starts collecting papers, "...I'll help you clean up."
That was after all what they were supposed to do.
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Leaning back on his hands again, he nodded a little while looking back at the agonizingly slow movement of space overhead. "Bruce Banner is here. So is Steve. All I've seen so far." Kicking his legs out, he crossed them at the heel. "I kid you not... the Harry Potter chick is here. Did you ever see those movies? It's scary but kind of cool."
Grinning just a little, he stopped and looked at the mess. "Oh... Yeah. Looks like I made a mess." He sat up and carefully closed up the bottle of ink. He had to admit, using a quill to write was kind of awesome in that going back in time sort of way. Stacking some of the parchments he wasn't finished with, he started to roll them up. "I tend to get a little lost when I'm trying to figure something out."
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Hulk, Captain America. no Romanoff, no Coulson. Something relaxes in his shoulders and he feels his heart beat again, "...What are you thinking about? Or - working on?"
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He ties a string around the parchment and hums at that question. "After the Chitauri and the nuclear bomb and that massive FUBAR with Ultron? I kind of hate space for being so unknown." Tony hated variables and things he couldn't explain. Those were dangerous. At least to him...
Granted he kind of hated AIM and SHIELD for being so vulnerable and his dad for being such a dumbass. Even he knew the moment they let him on the carrier that there was something really wrong with the entire set up. But hey... no one really listened to him. "I guess it distracts me from the fact I don't have anything to work on."
That came out before he could stop it.
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He frowned, "Why not a shelving robot? It'd make this job go by faster."
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He was restacking books when Ward asked that question. It made him laugh. A startled sound as he'd not really laughed since... well... walking away from the Avengers. "That would be helpful. Too bad when I went to the market the most advanced items I found were a wheel and a compound pulley. Which weren't for sale by the way. Though I found a pretty interesting steel knife to cut away some of the more stubborn things growing into the walls."
Now blacksmithing he liked. A lot actually. "They say it switches out from time to time. I'm hoping something more modern will pop up so I can build something useful."
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He and Kara had been there, purchased things for their "nest" as Ward had called it. The house they'd never had, that they never would have...unless they fixed this place.
Then they could go back, back and away.
If he wanted.
He ran a hand through his hair, "...Of course it switches. You think we could get pets? I want to get my partner something."
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"I'm sure if you ask the Librarians. I'd ask the Head guy though. The Cat is snippy. That or he doesn't like me. I haven't decided. Animals know I'd end up killing it with neglect cause I love machines more." Hopefully if he ever got a pet, Steve would remind him that DumE can't feed it and water it.
If Steve wanted to be around for that kind of nonsense.
"But yeah... he seems nice enough. You should ask him."
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Ward looked at the books, "You really believe all this? that we're supposed to save this world? That we have...the potential to be good?"
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"I believe that people get second chances." That one was harder. Especially for him. "Because Steve Rogers still believes in me after I created Ultron."
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"I don't know what you're talking about." He grimaces, "...But if Steve Rogers said it was true for you I guess it would be true for you. I was just asking about here."
"...Kara deserves a second chance."
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Glancing over his shoulder at the name, he arched a brow slowly. Tony sucked at relationships. Just ask Pepper. She could write a book about why loving him was a bad idea. But still...
"If I've learned anything... some people are worth it. Giving up everything..." He wasn't sorry for Ultron. He wasn't sorry for why he made that god forsaken monster. He was just sorry he did it all wrong.
"Look... I suck at that emotional stuff, but well... maybe you'll get it. Some people you would be the best in the world for. Hell, poster boy and anything you can manage to do it right. But that person is can also be the reason why you burn the world down if you lost them." The vision came up to the surface violently of Steve dying under his fingertips and he had to rub his face.
"If I can feel that way about anyone... and this place still wants me? I guess there is hope after all."
no subject
But his heart still beats.
Some people you would be the best in the world for, but that person can also be the reason why you'd burn the world down if you lost them.
Ward's hands shake and he looks back out toward the stars without saying anything.
"...Kara was dead before coming here."
"I don't care about making anything better. I just - she wants to be here and help and I...I want to help her get her dream. She's been denied too much."
There's so much more that's at the gates that he keeps at bay.
"But that burning the world thing down? I get it. Oh you'd better goddamn believe I get it. You haven't seen what SHIELD's been doing, what they did to her..."
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Ward lost that person.
The thought made him want to throw up. Tony had to look away. He curled his fingers imperceptibly about the edge of the table and stared through it. A vision made Tony build Ultron. A driving need to keep Steve from dying. Because nothing shook him more than having Steve look him in the eye and ask him why he didn't do something about it.
Biting into his lower lip, he turned his head just a bit at the mention of Shield. He never really liked them. That was why the Avengers left them. "I haven't seen it. But I can believe it." He lost no sleep over the whole organization falling apart. Just over Steve... too bad his own world crumbled about the same time.
"I don't really know what this place wants, Ward... but I know it's given me something I never thought I'd have." Even if they were just friends... hell... he could live with that. "To quote a guy... don't waste this life or the chance in front of you. If she's here... and she's that person for you. Don't let it go." God... if he actually lost Steve he would be fine with never seeing Earth or anything ever again.
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Ward's voice is cold, "...That's what you could help me build. A flash light." Night was bad, night without a light was worse.
Despite everything he smiled softly, his features melting.
"....She's...my better half. Literally. You have someone like that right?"
no subject
"I'll get on that." He threw that out off handed. He could. He was smart enough, that was for sure.
Pausing at the question, his own posture eased up and he reached up to rub the back of his neck as something warm fluttered in his chest. "Yeah... Probably friend zoned for life... but better than not having them in your life at all. Kinda actually... you know... like myself when that person is close." God knew he hated himself.
TW: suicide mention
...I must have cried for a month. Every night, every day. I wanted to die. I think I might have even tried to eat my gun at one point."
He stares at his wrists and the two long scars that have faded to almost nothing.
"...You just keep getting pushed and pushed and then when she was gone I was pushed too far. And she's here. In my arms."
"Shit I'd marry her if there were a priest. Down the line eventually."
It's blurted out, like a child.
Oh.. Tony would be the same way if he went through that.
His brow furrowed at the other's words, slowly turning to sit on the edge of the table and face him properly. He sucked at emotions. His father made damn sure of that, but he felt this... he could completely empathize with Ward.
"I don't want to know what I would have done." Because he would have been the monster everyone suspected he would be at some point.
Even still, he grinned just the slightest bit at the sudden proclamation. "I'll keep an eye out for a priest just for you. Bet the Head Librarian would know someone or maybe could do it himself." Hey... he felt happy for the guy. This must be the most sane thing he's had in a while.
"Have you told her that? Bet she'd love it."
Re: Oh.. Tony would be the same way if he went through that.
He swallows, "I just - I'd want to. I mean if we have a chance...show her how much I trust her but she'd died."
And he killed her.
"...I just, if I could take care of her, make this place a home for us...and then....I guess I sort of always felt like marriage was an obligation but it was one I wanted. My granddad..."
He rolled his eyes, "Rich people's weddings. Their wedding apparently had a president attend. And horses. I used to pretend I was a guest but a big...an actual..."
He stands, "I'm being ridiculous."
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He did it all the time. Less often lately. He was done being Howard's showboat and the media's playboy. They could keep it. Even if he did stupid things now, he did it for the right reasons. Or... he thought he did.
"But I don't think any of that really applies here." Ward didn't strike him as a rich stiff that wanted that delegate wedding and 'marrying well'. "I think you're being real. And honestly? Screw it... You lost her. But she's here. Those other people can be damned... if it makes you happy, I say grab on and hold on tight. How many get a chance like this?"
God, he wished he could completely take his own advice. But at least it seemed these two had mutual love. They had a right to get this chance. "I'd say ridiculous is more the idea of letting it slip through your fingers when that reality is right in front of you. But I could be wrong..."
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He's made that decision, "I guess I could tell her. I don't have...a ring or anything like that but putting a ring on it...
It's real. What we have. You would know though. Your family's richer then mine was."
"It sucks doesn't it."
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In fact, he would be asking the Cat about it soon. He was sure he could manage something awesome given materials and just a little time. These two deserved that. Can't erase the hell, but you can help them get a better tomorrow.
"Yeah. Married to their status, image and money. I'm sure he had a good side. Somewhere in there." Tony never saw it. He actually resented people that did see it. "I know if I had that chance, I wouldn't give a damn what the media or my parents would have thought."
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He clenches his fists, "She deserves that. After everything that's been done to her."....Well there are ways of dealing with people like that."
His tone implies they're not good.
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Angling his head at the rush of anger that he couldn't deny was there. Tony may suck at picking up emotions in anyone other than Steve, but that was undeniable. "I will be the first to say... I have my own brand of justice when I don't have my moral anchor."
Pausing... he considered it a moment before offering. "But I will save that for when my anchor is gone and only then." Because if he went too far now... he couldn't take the look of disappointment or have to live ten or more feet away from each other... things like that never felt good.
Steve liked it here. Best not get thrown out.
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He looks surprised at that, hands folded in front of him, "...Huh."
"...Kara suggested taking up a hobby. To keep my ...feelings in check. I don't know what though."