If he were capable he would touch Alec again just to be sure of what he thought he caught in that moment. He would happily tease Jack about it if he could. He would happily tease Alec about it, too.

If he could.

"Healing on the outside isn't the same as healing on the inside."

He wasn't sure he'd ever heal. He had been healing. Had thought finally he was free to love Jack and be with him for the rest of his life. No more hiding. No more secrets. No more fear.

And then a few months later, after nearly four years, Jack was gone. Everything was gone. All that was left was a hole and he found himself wondering if having something and losing it was better or worse than never having it at all.

Because now there was this person who he found attractive and nice and warm. Someone who made him feel things again. Made him want things again.

Sebastian wasn't sure when it had happened, but when he blinked a few times to clear his vision his hand was pressed flat against Alec's chest.

Things he couldn't have and shouldn't want.

"I want to hear more about you and Magnus so don't worry about how much you talk about him."