Angry at the world seemed about right. Where Alec had been Sebastian was currently. Struggling between trying to do what he thought Jack would want him to do and everything else. Anger. Regret. An ache so deep and so painful there were times he couldn't breathe. It had been over a year now and he didn't feel like any time had passed. Some days it felt as if Jack had just...

"J-Jack." The name, his name, he hadn't spoken in so long. Not out loud. No one at Julliard knew. He didn't talk to anyone. From the day he'd made his decision he had lived, breathed, dreamed music. It was the only way he knew how to heal. And yet saying Jack's name made him feel like someone had punched him in the chest. So he tried again, swallowing and trying to take a breath, say the words. Say them!

"His name...was Jack." Do not cry. Do not break. Not now. "He won't be coming."