central_librarylogs | Orientation [Closed]

Entry tags:

Orientation [Closed]

Who: Maedhros, Maglor, Elladan & Elrohir
What: Welcome to Deep Space 9
When: Now
Where: Science Fiction Section
Warnings: .... well we do have Feanorions in this section POSSIBLY MENTION OF DEATH, MURDER, SUICIDE, GENERAL CRAZY THINGS

"Okay, that's different." Elladan leans on his brother and stares.

"Which, the bodiless voice, or the blue person that just walked past." Elrohir laughs and shoves against him fondly.

"What are we doing, grandfathers?" They ask as one, turning identical grins to the older two.

"Scamps." Maglor shakes his head. "What were we thinking, Nelyo, bringing them along?"

"I do not think we were given much choice." Maedhros retorts wryly, before fixing the two with a commanders glare. "You heard our orders. Medicines, bandages. I'm sure your father taught you what to look for. Don't get in trouble. Don't get caught."

The grins don't fade, but both of them straigthen, responding to the command.

"We know what to look for." Elladan assures them.

"Mostly. Medicines, we will have to guess."

"But ... we have no coin?"

"Other than of our own world, and I doubt they will accept King's Currency or Shire Coin."

"They might." Maglor shakes his head. "But not as coin - gold and silver will always have worth, younglings, no matter's whose face is on the coin. Have a care of who you ask, but I am sure you will find someone willing to trade."

"Be back here within two hours." Maedhros orders. "Or we will come and find you."

"And if you are not, we will seek you." Elrohir promises softly.

"We have only just found you." Elladan agrees. "We don't let family get in trouble without us."

"I think." Maglor says dryly. "That Maedhros and I are old enough to look after ourselves. But thank you."

"Go on with you." Maedhros' gruff order is mixed with the clear affection in his eyes. "Take care."

"We will!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What his body didn't show, his mind remembered all too vividly. None of his actions were forgotten and each one had meant a great deal to him...and to Maglor. Of course his brother was hurt by them. Maglor's pain had echoed his own and he hadn't been able to see through any of it. The Darkness had swallowed him at last.

Maedhros was pale, the sparse freckles that lightly touched his nose more visible than ever. There were dark circles under his eyes and he was thin. Thinner than he should be at his height. All in all, he was a poor sight when one considered who he used to be.

"Ages?" he choked, "How?"

No, no, that wasn't the important point, though it haunted him.

"Kano I - I wasn't - " his head ducked and he took a shaky step forward, "I abandoned you when I promised I wouldn't. I left you to live on in torment. I'm so sorry."

He'd been angry and hurt for a long time. The anger now was but a ghost, but Maglor's ghosts were...vivid. Cruel. Sought to strike out and hurt in turn.

He watched how his words affected his brother and felt the ice crumbling with that unsteady step closer to him. He swallowed heavily, drawing in a slow breath to try and keep his composure.

His hands clenched into fists, barely covered by his tattered clothes. "You have no idea what my path has been like." He wouldn't call it a life. They were both a poor sight to see. His ire crumbled without any help though and now he stumbled forward, hands unclenching to reach desperately for his brother.

"Don't do that to me again!"

He expected to be attacked; to be admonished and brought to a point much lower than the chasm in which he fell. There was no way for him to shield himself from the blows and he had no right to save himself some pain. Maedhros accepted that all of it had been earned long, long ago for Maglor. For him, it had been less than a day.

What have you endured outside of my sight; outside of my presence? We only had each other and then you had no one.

"No, I do not." he had no ground on which to argue and he would not. To do so would be disrespectful to his brother.

His eyes widened at the hands reaching for him and he hurried forward, catching them and pulling Maglor into his arms like he had done when they were children.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." the words were repeated softly against the dark hair he knew so well.

He didn't have the heart to attack his brother, no matter how much it may be deserved. It was centuries in the past. He'd thought he'd be alone for the rest of his days.

Maglor shook in his brother's arms, burying his face against the familiar chest as he clung desperately. If he could crawl into his brother, he would have. The years almost seemed to vanish, they nearly did in the remembered safety of these arms.

"Are you really here? I've dreamed..."

The shaking vibrated through him and he hated to have crushed his brother's heart so callously. Of all the people Maglor could have expected to hurt him, he was likely the last one on his brother's list. Yet he had harmed him the worst. Oh he could blame the curse and the Silmarils, but in the end, he was the one who had jumped.

"Everything is too raw for this to be a dream." he felt tears burning down his cheeks and he cradled the back of Maglor's head with his only hand, "I've got you, Kano."

Edited 2017-01-21 04:17 (UTC)

Maedhros had promised. And broken it in the worst way. There'd been no way to prepare for it. Maglor had no tears left to shed, for he'd given them all when he'd been left behind.

So he burrowed as close as he could, clung as tight as he had strength.

"Until you leave again," he answered, bitter. But he didn't have the ability to push away, though part of him wanted to. He couldn't.

His fingers curled into the black strands and he lowered his head to nuzzle Maglor's shoulder. In his agony, he had forgotten the strength they had together. Somehow that strength had been transformed into a toxic bond over the years. Maedhros had known what he was doing as he forced Maglor to remain with him, yet...

He feared being alone above all. That was the fate he had placed on his brother's head.

His absolute worst fear.

"Don't say that." his voice shook for he knew it was true; he would leave; they would part, "If there is a way, I will find it."

He'd never been alone until that terrible day. There'd always been a brother just around a corner. Then no one. He'd been in so much pain even before he realized what Maedhros had done. Before it sank in.

His teeth grit and he growled, weakly punching his brother before going right back to clinging. "You will leave me again and you know it! Don't lie to me. Don't make false promises." Even if his heart ached and clutched desperately for the sweet words.

The punch was barely felt and Maedhros only frowned faintly, hurt more by his brother's desperate words. He had never felt more like a monster. What had he done? How could it be undone?

"I will not...promise you. But I will seek to undo my actions or...to return to you." he swallowed thickly and clutched to the back of Maglor's robes, "I love you, Kano; I have always loved you. I forgot myself...and you... I forgot the meaning of...everything."

They'd become monsters, all of them. But he loved his brother still, and tucked himself in close and tight.

"You threw me away," he sighed out, starting to sag against Maedhros. Anger took a lot out of him these days.

He shook and felt a weakness that was driven, like a spike, to his core. His brother had a way with words and Maedhros gritted his teeth against the pain, driving back his demons so that he may face his brother's instead.

"Not on purpose." he admitted after a long pause, voice strained, "I threw myself away too."

A part of him thrilled at the feeling of his brother shaking. But the rest was ashamed, and he let out a long breath, fingers slipping up to tangle in Maedhros' hair.

"...We are here. Together." And he didn't plan to let go of his brother again for a long while.

His chest expanded, but his breath was shallow regardless his efforts. The intensity of his emotions made him dizzy and nauseous. He closed his eyes and buried his face, stubbornly, against Maglor's shoulder.

You can hate me, it's fine. You're not the first nor the last.

"Y-Yes." he murmured, "This place is strangely peaceful. I do not believe it will remain so if our luck is anything to go by."

Fingers tightened in hair from his dreams as he clung, trying to remember to breath. that this might not actually be a walking dream leaving him in fact clutching another cliff face or tree, as he'd woken to find himself doing on more than one occasion.

Maglor let out a long breath though, trying not to let it hitch toward a sob. Or hysterical laugh. "...Chaos follows us wherever we go. Come though, we should meet it as best we can."

Maedhros rubbed over Maglor's back, humming to him soothingly. He was real; he was alive; their paths had crossed again. If he could have his wish, their paths would never split apart again.

"Only if you can relax a little, Kano. You feel like you might shatter at the slightest touch."

Maglor breathed back in, reminding himself of the warmth and his brother's smell. The humming always helped, and the hand rubbing over his back soothed him. His desperation lessened to an easier level to handle, and his hold loosened.

He had to be stronger. Having such a shock had shoved him off his usual mental standing, unsteady as it could be at times. And it worried his brother. He couldn't take the chance Maedhros actually would leave him behind if he was too weak and pathetic now. Even if he was, he had to lean on all his long years of practice in being what he wasn't.

"You can count on me, Nelyo."

No. Maedhros would not accept that answer. He knew where it originated and that wasn't acceptable; it was just more of the same. As much as change frightened him, he had to be the older brother. He had to be the one that was the strongest.

Frowning, he cupped one of Maglor's cheeks against his hand and brought their foreheads together, his voice low.

"Rely on me, Kano. Do not take it all on yourself. I know you have had no choice up until this point, but now you can rest."

His big brother knew him too well. A blessing and a curse all in one, but any irritation Maglor might feel about it was being eclipsed by the simple fact he was not alone.

He didn't flinch this time at the touch, only sank into it as he listened. "But if I rest, you cannot. We aren't meant to be apart, I just...let me be your shadow again?"

"You can let your mind rest." Maedhros kissed his brow tenderly, "How could I ever deny you?" his smile was equal joy and sorrow. Maglor was more precious than he knew and far, far stronger than him.

But if he wanted to be his shadow - if that brought him comfort - then he would lead again.

He felt like a child all over again, clutching at his brother's hand and robes, seeking his approval in everything he did.

Maglor smiled shyly at the acceptance, fingers gently toying with the hem of his brother's sleeve. "Thank you, Nelyo."

No matter Maglor's age, he was precious in his brother's eyes. Maedhros understood that he had taken him for granted; he had taken everything for granted and given up. Never again.

"I don't want you to leave my sight." he gently examined his brother's scarred hands, leaning down to press his cheek to them.

They could only go forward from now on, though following after his brother was familiar, and a comfort. Maglor tried to jerk his hands from Maedhros' grasp, drawing in a sharp breath before stopping himself, leaving him staring wide-eyed at the top of his brother's head.

"O-kay..."

He felt and heard the reaction. His heart clenched in his chest and he raised his gaze, lips set in a grim line.

"You have nothing to be ashamed about, Kano. Not with me."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Orientation [Closed]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject